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Each of us has some innate aggression within us, caused by the desires we have.

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The aggression doesn’t necessarily need to be directed towards the areas of our desire, but it is nonetheless caused by them. The desires fuel an aggressive nature within ourselves that we feel the need to express in some way or the other. Once it is expended, we feel calm, relaxed, and available for thinking. And living.

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Hence now we find ourselves in a dilemma of having the aggression suppressed within ourselves and not knowing where to direct it. It’s definitely a problem. No matter where you direct it, you would accrue consequences which you cannot escape from. It makes sense then for us to look for the path of least consequence.

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Consider the 2 main pathways, of directing the aggression either outwards or inwards, meaning towards others or towards yourself. Which causes the least conflict? Being aggressive towards others only invites them to fight back. Whereas if they’re already aggressive towards you, you being aggressive towards yourself seems to be the path of least resistance. You’re ‘on their side’ as it were. This way there is no conflict with them. You merely agree with and even accentuate their aggression towards you, keeping them satisfied.

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It’s not a laziness, but a (partially) smart move, to avoid a conflict. However the problem arises when you’re unable to separate your own beliefs from what you’ve led them to believe, and so you end up with a situation where you’re blaming yourself even when you’re alone.

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Consider another, interesting scenario, which we do find ourselves in from time to time. Even those who are generally somewhat self-critical.

When you meet another person who’s very critical of themselves, do you not feel an impulse within you to criticize or blame them as well? This may not be your usual behavior, and for days or months later you may be wondering what made you do it.

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Are you doomed then to either be aggressive towards others or towards yourself depending on how aggressive or timid the other person is?

What is the solution to this see-sawing of negative energy?

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There is indeed a better way to function, but I’ll save that for another post. Let this post serve only to reason out as to why some are generally aggressive towards themselves whereas most people are generally aggressive towards others instead.

I’ve often had this thought… “If only I took that opportunity when I had the chance”, or “I wish I did not say that”, or even “I wish I could go back in time to that particular moment again… what would I not do to change what I did then.”

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And this is despite me rationalizing it each time and concluding that that desire is pointless.

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It takes time to accept what we theorize and understand to be true. Writing these thoughts out is my attempt at placing these thoughts outside of me so that I can reflect on them easier. You’re welcome to do the same.

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Let’s ignore for a moment about how possible rewriting the past is in the first place.

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Why do we want to rewrite our own past? I’d say it’s the belief that our (or a loved one’s) current situation could’ve been a lot better. And perhaps that is the only reason.

And yet, that belief is rife with assumptions. Let’s list them out and analyze (prove or disprove them).

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1. An assumption that the outcome is determined solely by our actions.
   • In fact whenever something good happens to you, regardless of how hard you’ve worked for it, there are many other factors that contributed to the outcome which are beyond your control.
   • A few examples… Not all who work hard are adequately rewarded. Not all children of rich people inherit the wealth of their parents. Not all who are strong and healthy live long lives. The list goes on and on.
   • In fact, not all who get exactly what they want are happy. But that’s another point.
2. An assumption that we know what will make us happy
   • How many times have you found yourself being thankful that what you wanted to happen had not come to pass?
   • It’s not that we fought on despite the apparently negative outcome and brought success to ourselves despite it. Though this is what we like to believe. We enjoy placing ourselves on a pedestal. ‘We are the center of the universe after all’. In truth, had ‘that desirable thing’ come to fruition, you would’ve realized later that it was a precursor to something a lot worse. And would end up regretting your choice. Funny that, isn’t it?
3. << This list is a work in progress. I’ll get back to it when I have more thoughts on it. >>

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Has your ability to succeed diminished in any way because of your unpleasant past?

It may appear so at a superficial level. After all, the fact that you’ve lost your money or home or loved one can have a big effect on what you’re capable of achieving.

However,

It is more likely that your situation has merely changed, not worsened. And perhaps your goals should change too.

We often do this at a smaller level, and not realize how normal of an occurrence this is.

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When planning an outing with your friends or your partner, and if the circumstances of one or more of you change, do you not simply change your plan, sometimes even canceling it altogether? All this done without much disappointment, without a rigid insistence of how things should have been. Being rigid in those situations would damage the relationship.

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Apply that same easygoing nature then to your goals and your circumstances.

‘The world’ has changed what could’ve been, what you’ve dreamed of, what’s best for both you and ‘the world’/’the other party’. Your relationship with this ‘world’/’other party’ is more important than an outcome which you’ve felt was more necessary or more pleasant.

It’s only your easygoing nature which will resolve this unpleasantness.

Just change your plans.

You’re still friends with the world.

And there are good times still to be had in the future.

“Don’t overthink it.”

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It’s perhaps ironic, or beautiful … :shrugs: … that I’m starting this website by addressing a major flaw in my personality.

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Overthinking. To the point of not starting something.

• ^{Photo by Zeyad Taha on Unsplash}

I’ve been considering creating a website to express my thoughts on philosophy and life in general. It was mainly to address another lacuna … which is that I needed a portal to express my inner thoughts. It’s not easy to express one’s thoughts in a climate where most people are sure of what they know.

That simple idea ended spiraling my thoughts out of control despite my efforts to keep them contained…

• what if someone I know reads it and judges me negatively for it?
• what if I end up doing more harm than good by expressing my ideas?
• could I express myself anonymously? – like writing a book under a fictional name?
• is philosophy best expressed via video? books? blog articles?

After a couple of years of stalling and flirting with the idea, with a couple of half-hearted starts in between, I’ve graciously been urged by a friend to just start it since it’s definitely going to be helpful to people in one way or another. – Coincidentally she had started a website of her own.

So here I am, starting small, but intending for this to grow in some way or the other.

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I intend for this website to feature concepts on life and living, with some practical observations of the world or of life to back the concepts up.

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A short biography about me then.

I studied medicine and became a doctor about 16 years ago. I’ve been a practicing doctor ever since, but also spent most of that time studying Vedanta philosophy, initially on my own and then at the Vedanta Academy India. The academy and philosophy encouraged its students to contemplate upon life, question everything (to a reasonable extent), and pursue a self-created high ideal. 6-7 years into learning the philosophy I started teaching classes on it for about a year, but then stopped when my medical work increased due to the pandemic.

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I have a few ideas I would enjoy sharing with the readers of this website, and I hope to post new articles on a regular basis.

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Ravi.

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