Each of us has some innate aggression within us, caused by the desires we have.
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The aggression doesn’t necessarily need to be directed towards the areas of our desire, but it is nonetheless caused by them. The desires fuel an aggressive nature within ourselves that we feel the need to express in some way or the other. Once it is expended, we feel calm, relaxed, and available for thinking. And living.
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Hence now we find ourselves in a dilemma of having the aggression suppressed within ourselves and not knowing where to direct it. It’s definitely a problem. No matter where you direct it, you would accrue consequences which you cannot escape from. It makes sense then for us to look for the path of least consequence.
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Consider the 2 main pathways, of directing the aggression either outwards or inwards, meaning towards others or towards yourself. Which causes the least conflict? Being aggressive towards others only invites them to fight back. Whereas if they’re already aggressive towards you, you being aggressive towards yourself seems to be the path of least resistance. You’re ‘on their side’ as it were. This way there is no conflict with them. You merely agree with and even accentuate their aggression towards you, keeping them satisfied.
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It’s not a laziness, but a (partially) smart move, to avoid a conflict. However the problem arises when you’re unable to separate your own beliefs from what you’ve led them to believe, and so you end up with a situation where you’re blaming yourself even when you’re alone.
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Consider another, interesting scenario, which we do find ourselves in from time to time. Even those who are generally somewhat self-critical.
When you meet another person who’s very critical of themselves, do you not feel an impulse within you to criticize or blame them as well? This may not be your usual behavior, and for days or months later you may be wondering what made you do it.
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Are you doomed then to either be aggressive towards others or towards yourself depending on how aggressive or timid the other person is?
What is the solution to this see-sawing of negative energy?
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There is indeed a better way to function, but I’ll save that for another post. Let this post serve only to reason out as to why some are generally aggressive towards themselves whereas most people are generally aggressive towards others instead.